Unlocking The Life We Deserve with Candice Brathwaite

Last year, during a trip to the UK, I decided it was the perfect time to hunt down a book I’d been eyeing for a while, one written by an author I’d been following on Instagram. I couldn’t find it anywhere digitally (at that time), not on Audible or Apple Books, and a quick search in Liverpool bookstores came up empty. Eventually, I ordered it from Amazon UK. The title is what grabbed me most: Manifesto: Unlock the Life You Deserve. It spoke directly to the season of life I’m in, one marked by questions, transitions, and the quiet search for clarity.

Thankfully, Candice announced on a U.S. book tour, with NYC as one of the stops. You know I bought those tickets quickly, as if I were going to see Beyoncé. Last night, at the Crown Hill Theatre, in a room full of badass Black women dressed to impress, we sat in conversation with Candice and the brilliant moderator, LaTonya Yvette.

I’d like to share a few key takeaways from the evening, insights that we can all carry with us. I’m not here to tell you which manifestation practice works or doesn’t work for you; that’s a personal journey. But I do believe in reflecting on wisdom when it finds you at the right time.

Your Dreams Must Give You Butterflies; Dreams Are Not Mistakes

Too often, Black women are told to shrink themselves. To not reach too far. To stay in our lane. We’re conditioned to believe that because we have to work twice as hard to get half as much, we should settle for the crumbs we’re offered. But it’s time to throw all of that away.

We must permit ourselves to dream fully, boldly, and without apology. If your dreams don’t scare you a little, they’re probably not big enough. And honestly, if we stop dreaming… are we really living?

There should be something you’re striving for that makes your heart race, that makes you sit up a little straighter when you think about it. I always remind myself: the dream wasn’t placed inside me by accident. If it keeps coming back to you, if it lives in your mind and spirit, you owe it to yourself to nurture it.

After Dreaming Comes Discipline: Habit Will Sustain You

So now that you have the dream… how are you going to achieve it?

As Candice reminded us, “You need a sense of discipline to master yourself.” That hit me. I’ve watched her show up for herself daily, working out every day for over 600 days straight. Think about that. The level of discipline it takes to move your body every single day, no matter what, heavy menstrual days, family stress, work obligations, she still gets up and does it. She tells us, “It’s a privilege to make this time for yourself.”

That reframe really challenged me. I won’t lie, when my mental health is in the gutter, I can barely get out of bed. But this idea of putting myself first? That’s something I’m working on, and honestly, it ends today. I am worthy of making myself a priority, before the kids, and yes, even before the husband.

If you feel this too, I hope today becomes your starting point.

For me, it starts with getting back to my Hot Girl Walks by the lake near my house. If I can reclaim that space for myself, even for 20 minutes a day, I know I’ll start to rebuild the discipline I need to sustain the life I dream about.

Style Is a Compliment to Your Aura

And because you know I love fashion, I couldn’t leave you without sharing this gem:

Style is a compliment to your aura.

When you walk into a room, the energy shifts. People might think it’s the outfit, the scent, the accessories, and sure, those help, but the truth is, it’s you. It’s your aura. Everything else is just a bonus, an extension of the energy already radiating from your presence.

I’ve said it on this blog from the beginning: when you look good, you feel good. And last night, Candice reaffirmed that belief for me. She reminded me that showing up for yourself, in how you dress, how you carry yourself, how you speak, isn’t about vanity. It’s about alignment. It’s about owning your full self, inside and out.

 

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Candice Brathwaite-Aboderin (@candicebrathwaite)

There were so many other gems shared, some deeply personal moments Candice offered in the sacred intimacy of that room. Out of respect for that space, I’m keeping those close to my chest.

But what I will say is this: the life you want is out there, waiting for you to create it, on your own terms, in your own time.

One of the most powerful takeaways I want to share from the book is Candice’s practice of Askfirmations, an approach that reframes affirmations into questions, as if what you desire has already come to pass.

Instead of saying, “I am loved,” you ask: “Why am I so loved?”
And the answer becomes: Because you are worthy of being loved.
(Manifesto, page 30)

It’s a subtle shift, but one that opens you up to possibility, to grace, to receiving.

So, I’ll leave you with this: What Askfirmations are you leaning into right now to manifest the life you deserve? Drop them below, I’d love to hear what’s speaking to your spirit.

 

 

 

 

 

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