#METOO, We All Have A Story

The hashtag that has taken over the internet recently, #metoo, women have come together to tell their stories.Their stories of sexual harassment or assault, in light of the Harvey Weinstein scandal that has taken over Hollywood. How many of us have a story that we did not share, that no one knows, until now? I will share mine with you today. I have never shared this story with my family, with my friends, with anyone. The only people who knew were the people who worked with me at the time, and I am not in contact with anyone from that period of my life. If you are hiding in the darkness, I urge you to come out!

I worked at a boutique sneaker store in Soho, NYC, to help put myself through college. My financial aid was non-existent and I was not born with a silver spoon, so I had to work. I worked part-time during the week, and almost every weekend. On the weekends, the store would have a live DJ spinning, and it could get very loud, crowded, and hectic. I can’t remember what year this was, this is why I need to continue journaling, to keep dates in order. Anyway, we had a complete change in the management team, and things were changing in the atmosphere at the store.

Being a cashier, I was on the register this one particular Saturday, and we had to man the phones simultaneously as well. The line is crazy long, as it usually was on the weekends, and I get a call from a manager who isn’t working that day. I remember he was out due to being ill. The conversation went like this:

Me: Good Afternoon, thanks for calling ____, how can I help you?

Manager: Hey is this Karese?

Me: Yes, Mark?

Manager: Yes, it’s me.

Me: How are you feeling?

Manager: I’m doing ok. How are you? Is the store busy?

Me: Yes, the line is crazy. Do you wanna speak to Eric?

Manager: In a bit, I actually wanted to ask you something? Are you looking to make some extra money?

Me: Doing what?

Manager: I have a friend that needs attractive girls like you to take some photos and he’ll pay you.

Me: What?

Manager: You have a nice body, you would be perfect. A couple photos, a couple dollars. Think about it.

By this time, I am frozen in shock, I have customers in front of me, I just placed him on hold and transferred him to the back office to the other managers. When Eric came out, I said did you speak to Mark. He said, yes. I told him, I have to talk to you later when we close.

I told Eric the entire story when we were closing the store. He couldn’t believe it, he said we had to report it immediately. I wrote a statement before I left that night. I went home and didn’t say a word to anyone. I went straight to my room, I didn’t know how to feel, but I didn’t feel right. What was he suggesting? Did I seem like that kind of girl? You start to question things within your own self.

My written statement led to the Regional District Manager from the corporate office coming to speak to me, she was a woman. She asked me over and over if I was sure, obviously, he was denying the entire story. She made me feel like I wasn’t sure of what I heard. She made me feel like I was making this up. She made me feel stupid. I expressed that I wasn’t going to be comfortable working the same shifts as him moving forward. She would get back to me, after further investigation.

To make a long story short, he was suspended for a few days. The week he came back, he and I were closing the store together. I was livid. Was nothing I said to these people valid? How can you have us closing the store together like I didn’t feel threatened by this dude? They didn’t have my back. A couple co-workers stayed around me that night to make sure I was fine. I soon left that place and found a job at Scoop NYC. I can’t work for a corporation that doesn’t support victims of sexual harassment.

My story is mild in comparison to some of the things I have been reading online. But nonetheless, it happened. I know what it feels like when someone in power, wins. Because they have more power and a title, what you say doesn’t matter. They sweep you under the rug, yes it happened, so what, move on. I felt dirty everytime I was around him, like he was watching me in a sexual way, like he was proud to still be around me. I was sick.

Hold your head high, it’s never your fault. You did not deserve it, and you matter. What happened to you matters, and I am sorry you had to endure any pain at the hands of anyone in this world. Thank you for reading this post, names were changed and the store I worked at was left blank.