That is a question Ade and I had to sit down and discuss with the boys. It’s a topic I personally have been avoiding for some time. While I know they are exposed to many things that we were not growing up, it’s not a talk I looked forward to having. And of course, they knew exactly what it meant.
The talk came up because of something that Caleb said in school to another student. I won’t go into details as to keep some family matters private. But with all the kids being bullied in school and either dying from the injuries or committing suicide, we had to have a serious discussion with them about life and how to deal with peer pressure. Boys will usually want to be known for being cool and funny. It’s not cool to be smart and kind, and we noticed that Caleb was falling into a crowd that had him making some choices that were not pleasing to us.
It is so hard navigating this parenting thing at times and trying to instill confidence in them so that they know they are to be leaders and not followers. I know we drill many things into their heads at home, but as soon as they get on the school bus, the influence of their friends will take over. Picking on kids, cracking jokes, will sometimes trump what is the right thing to do. While I was severely disappointed in the choices that were made, it gave us an opportunity to have a very open and honest discussion with them about many things. While I know I can be strict with them at times, I also want the lines of communication to be so open that they feel comfortable talking to us about absolutely anything. Including questions about sex, their bodies, ANYTHING!
What is the latest obstacle you all have been facing in your parenting journey? With Mother’s Day right around the corner, I am sending you all love, light, and strength. People used to tell me all the time that it will get easier as they get older and I have to say that I disagree with that. As Caleb & Joshua are getting older, each stage comes with a new set of challenges. I didn’t think I would be dealing with peer pressure for them at this age, what will happen when they get to high school?
If you are looking for a last minute Mother’s Day gift idea, I will suggest a small business I have been loving at the moment! This amazing vintage sequin blazer is from Martha Black Vintage. This is for the fashionable Mom who loves a unique and vintage piece that everyone will not have. The curator Staci also offers personal shopping services for the woman on-the-go who doesn’t always have the time to venture to the stores! Trust me you won’t be disappointed, but act fast when you see something you love. Thanks so much for reading and sticking around, I truly appreciate it!
Hello Karese, I am the mom to a 14 year old boy who is a very obedient, responsible, and respectful kid. He is also very smart as he is a gifted student who is taking classes a grade ahead. But nonetheless, he is an adolescent boy whose emotions are running wild! The emotion I’m currently facing with him is frustration, which is causing him to use profanity. This emotional frustration only comes out of him at times when he is on his Xbox playing Fortnite. I understand the game is competitive and you have to “talk a lil smack” to the other players, as I’m sure the other players are doing the same to him, but I’ve had to get on him a few times about his choice of words while on the game. This is what my current obstacle as a parent of a soon to be high schooler. Oh the other obstacles that are yet to come.
Xx,
Ashlee
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Yes, that Fortnite game has made the boys kind of aggressive when playing it as well. We just have to stay strong and keep reassuring them. You are doing an amazing job for him to be gifted and excelling in school. Excellent job Mama!
My biggest obstacle is potty training. HELP ME (Emani’s voice)
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I am crying!! Better get to work and let her walk around the house naked!
Not a biological parent, but after listening to a podcast recently, it’s further strengthened the idea that kids will learn what they live and vice versa. What parents are afraid to teach their kids, will manifest itself in their lives one way or another. While not having the rule book for everything, there are certain things parents can get in front of and have continued conversations about in order to keep those lines of communication open. I always think of parenting as not perfection, but progress and reflection. You may not be able to control all children do and see while outside of your view, but you can develop a framework for how to approach tough situations – with understanding, practiced openness and empathy.
Author
Thanks for all this great insight! It is a constant internal battle as a Mother and whether I am navigating certain things the right way. Just keep me lifted up in prayer always!