Hey, girl hey! I have been kind of MIA on social media because frankly, I just needed a minute. A minute to not feel the pressure to post content. A minute to just lay down all day and be a bum. A minute to binge watch a show on Netflix without judgment. So that is exactly what I have been doing and I learned a couple things about myself. Of course, I am going to share them with you, keep reading!
I am always begging for my Husband to take the kids for a while and give me some peace. Sometimes I just want him to experience what it is REALLY is like to have to deal with two hyper boys all day, every day. He finally took me up on the offer and said he would take them for a weekend. That weekend turned into five days because they were having so much fun.
The first thing I learned was that I was disappointed. Disappointed that they could leave me for so long without blinking an eye. When we spoke on the phone, they barely paid me any mind, and they kept saying they didn’t wanna come home. (Insert crying face emoji.) The reality is Caleb will be 9 in December, and Joshua turns 7 this August. They are developing into independent young men and they will start to need me less and less. I have to start letting go of the Mama Bear behavior in me.
I also felt a bit of jealousy. Everyone that knows us in real life knows that the boys are my besties, we have fun together and I really appreciate that they love hanging out with me. The fact that they were having such a great time without me made me feel a bit jealous. Like what do you mean, you don’t wanna come home to your Mama? Again, I have to learn to let go.
I can be quite the loner and introvert at times. While I love being social and hanging out, I also love to be alone in my abode. So when I begged for everyone to leave the house and go about their business, after three days I was lonely and over it. The truth is I have never lived alone. I went straight from my parent’s house to live with my Husband at 21. I never had a bachelorette pad or the dope loft in the city with roommates. So after the first couple days of being alone, the house was too quiet. It was spotless for more than 24 hours, that even became weird after a while. Every little noise made me jump and think someone was coming after me. I guess I am so used to being in a house full of people!
Being in solitude is a great thing and every Mom needs that downtime to recoup and get some self-care in. It’s also okay to realize that the reality of your life is different and the little people that have taken over your heart and life will always be your top priority. I know not everyone has the support system that I have and will not be able to escape their lives for five days, but even if you can get 24 hours away, I am sure it will do a world of good for your spirit!
I hope everyone is having an amazing Summer thus far. Stay cool, safe and of course chic!