Yup, he came right out and told me that I spoil Caleb and Joshua, and you know what? I don’t even feel guilty about it.
Here’s why: I think it’s my job and duty to make my boys happy. Let me preface this by saying that I do not go out and buy EVERY SINGLE THING they ask for, but maybe 75% of the things they want I will get. I draw the line at Beyblades and Fidget Spinners because lawd, if I see another one of those metal things up in this house, I will flip.
Growing up was hard for my Belizean-immigrant parents to provide for three kids when my Dad was the breadwinner of the family. I distinctly remember getting roasted in the lunchroom when we didn’t have fly kicks or the hot commodity clothing item. The wonder of youth is innocence. We didn’t know anything was wrong with how we dressed until these kids pointed it out and cracked jokes. Subconsciously, this plays a part in how I dress the boys today and how I teach them to present themselves.
Another reason I spoil the boys (if you call it spoiling), is that they’re good children. For the most part, Caleb and Joshua do not give much trouble, the key word here is MUCH. They are boys so they will get into the occasional mischief and argument. But I know that they understand much of how this world works and they are humble. They do not go out and brag about what they have, and I hope that I am teaching them to be nice to everyone they meet.
I do tend to use school as a reward for certain purchases, which I know is wrong. They should work towards a goal in school because it’s rewarding to complete a task, not because Mommy will buy them something if they pass. I’m working on it, okay! Anyone else out there do this as well?
It breaks my heart when I have to tell the boys no. Especially if it’s because I can’t afford something. I don’t like the feeling, while I know it’s a material thing and not a life or death situation, I feel defeated. That disappointed look on their face is enough to make me want to go into the room and cry myself. I work hard so that I don’t have to tell them no because of money anymore. If I say no, it means you really don’t need it. There are boundaries here!
I come from a place of, Mommy is gonna make that happen for you. And if she can’t, I am beyond blessed to know that someone in my village will come through in the clutch. All the Aunties, Uncles & Grandparents on both sides can take some of the blame for the kids being “spoiled” as well.
It makes me really happy to see their little faces light up. I feel proud when I can do something for them when it isn’t Christmas or their birthday. A little something to show that I am paying attention to their interests and hobbies!
In my opinion, they are not brats, they are a little spoiled, but not bratty about it. There is a definite difference and I make sure of it! Do you get what I’m saying?
Do you guys spoil your kids? Let me know why below!!
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Thanks so much for reading and as always stay chic!